I need to get in shape

Like whoa. I'm gaining weight like there is no other. I recently started on birth control pills, so I wonder if that's a contributing factor to the weight gain, but it's noticeable weight gain. My sister pointed it out to me that I was beginning to have a noticeable tummy, and I wonder if that was due to the fact that about forty-five minutes prior to that, I'd eaten some macaroni and cheese and orange juice at Aaron's apartment.

Whatever the case, I need to get with it and get in shape. Like, really, my state is disgusting, but what I don't get is, how I can do three and some miles and have some problems with losing fat? Apparently, my endurance isn't at stake, but my physical shape is, and I don't know how to fix that. Do I need to try plyometrics or something? Anything to try and fix this AND STICK WITH IT. I have these stupid kicks where I go to the gym for a week and then don't go until a month after that. At least the gym fee is included in my tutition, otherwise I would have been really screwed...anyway, I need to go out to the gym on a consistent basis in order to really get into shape before the holiday season.

I really become very self-conscious when I go to the gym at Towson...all of the girls who are there are like thin, skinny, anorexic workout machines who run half an hour straight and never get winded or break a sweat. And there I am on the bike or the eliptical wanting to die at a half mile.

It's not my intention to be skinny, but I would really like to be able to bike/walk/run/whatever five miles. It shouldn't be a problem, since in a half hour, I can manage about three, but still...it bothers me that right now I can't do it. I'm debating if I can go to the gym tomorrow and work out; I don't know if I can, because I need to go and see if I'm eligible to get this on campus job working with animals...but we'll see.

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I want to do this mostly for my Aaron. I love Aaron Blair.

Him and I have had a lot of issues lately, but I'm really confident that it's nothing that we can't get through. I love him more than anything, and I am sure that he's the one that I'm going to marry...I hope that I do marry him because I love him so much.

Now, I'm not living with my head in the clouds. I really do like being with Aaron, and I love being his woman. I realize that relationships require a lot of time, committment and feelings. We have all of that, and more, which makes me feel comfortable about this. Both him and I are very busy people so we try and make as much time for each other as we can, but that's hard. Still, there are days like today where I went to his place and cooked a late lunch for myself and ate with him before he went to class. We didn't do anything, we sat there, ate, nitpicked, chided, and chilled. That's the kind of thing that makes me cry at night because I'm so happy I've found something like this to share with him.